Who is Gordon Dioxide?

I am not sure exactly when but I do know it was before babies that I discovered Gordon Dioxide. One night I couldn't sleep and I asked my hubby to read me a story. He grabbed his phone, did a google search, and wah lah the Gordon Dioxide stories began. I wasn't too sure about the odd stories at first. I may have even said they were stupid at one time but every story had me laughing out loud. I was fast to realize I love Gordon Dioxide! My husband even bought me the one and only published Gordon Dioxide book for my birthday.

I think most people agree that when you like something, you want to know more about it. My husband and I searched Gordon Dioxide but results only displayed his website, one published book, and this youtube video.

If you are looking for bedtime stories for five to eleven year olds or just want a good laugh, Gordon Dioxide stories will not disappoint. I just wish I knew more about this mystery author with that awesome pen name.

Here is one of his stories.

A LOVELY SUNNY DAY
by Gordon Dioxide

It was a lovely sunny day in Oak Tree Farm. An 8-year old boy called Tommy lay by the stream listening to the sounds of the countryside. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lions were roaring, and the sheep were ..... Hang on, did I say lions? Yes I did, and they were heading straight for Tommy. Tommy stood up and saw the three fierce lions coming across the field. He heard a noise behind him, and, looking round, saw a grizzly bear stomping towards him. On his right were a large number of tigers staring at him, and on his left, in the stream, was a crocodile. There was no escape. Tommy didn't know what to do. He thought for a moment and realized that the only way out was downwards, so he got a spade and started to dig. But he couldn't dig fast enough - the lions were rapidly approaching, the grizzly bear was just a few feet away, the tigers were starting to move, and the crocodile was snapping at his heels. Suddenly, a spaceship flew down from the sky and picked him up. "Phew, that was a close shave" thought Tommy. Now he was flying through space at a hundred miles an hour. The spaceship was driven by two aliens, both called Dave. They were green with large red eyes and yellow horns. One of them was wearing a T-shirt with the words "I've been to Buckingham Palace and seen the queen" across the front. The other one wore an identical T-shirt. Tommy was pleased to have been rescued from the animal attack, but was a bit unsure about where these two Daves were taking him. It was quite warm in the spaceship, so Tommy asked if the heating could be turned down. Unfortunately, neither Dave was quite sure how the heating system worked so one of them opened a window instead. This was a big mistake because space is a vacuum and quite capable of sucking things out of spaceships. This is exactly what happened to the two Daves - they were sucked out of the window, never to be seen again. Tommy shut the window and sat down at the controls. He'd never driven a spaceship before and was going to have to learn fast, otherwise he'd be in big trouble. He saw a red button with the letter R on it, and pressed it. The radio came on playing Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Pressing a button marked W started the windscreen wipers, but it wasn't raining so he turned them off. Eventually he taught himself how to control the spaceship using the steering wheel and gear stick. He brought it down to Earth and landed in his back garden just in time for tea. He told his mum about his little adventure, but she told him to stop telling lies and get on with his fish fingers. Forty years later, Tommy was 48-years old and he went on holiday to Spain with his family. While relaxing on a beach he saw two objects falling from the sky. They landed on his towel, and, on closer inspection, Tommy realized that it was the two Daves! After all this time they had finally fallen out of space and back to Earth. The two Daves were delighted to see Tommy, and Tommy said he would look after them. Now, although the two Daves looked the same, they were in fact completely different. One was clever, and one wasn't. Let's call them Clever Dave and Not-so-Clever Dave. Tommy said he would drive them to a shop to get some decent clothes. Tommy got in the driving seat, Clever Dave got in the passenger seat, and Not-so-Clever Dave got on the roof rack. When the car started to move, Not-so-Clever Dave fell off the back of the car. He had to chase after them, but as he wasn't very good at running he decided to catch a bus. He climbed on board the number 46 bus and sat on the driver's lap. The bus followed the car all the way to the clothes shop. In the shop Clever Dave put on a nice black suit and tie. Not-so-Clever Dave put a shirt on his legs, some socks over his ears, a hat on his feet and some shoes on his shoulders. He thought he looked smart, but he actually looked quite ridiculous. Then they went to a posh restaurant to have a meal. Clever Dave picked up his knife and fork and ate his food. Not-so-Clever Dave picked up his food and ate his knife and fork! He even said it tasted delicious. For pudding, he had the tablecloth and a lady's purse. Not-so-Clever Dave had a lot of trouble adapting to life on Earth. He couldn't understand why people had to pay for things in shops, so he kept getting arrested for helping himself. One day, the two Daves were making a cake for Tommy's birthday. Clever Dave was mixing some flour and sugar, while Not-so-Clever Dave was mixing some eggs and dynamite. When Not-so-Clever Dave put the mixture in the oven, there was a huge explosion and both Daves were blasted back to space, never to be seen again. Tommy was sad to lose his friends, but tried to get on with life as best he could. Another forty years went past and Tommy was now very old. One day, he was doing some gardening when he saw an airplane flying past. There seemed to be something hanging from one of the wings, so he got his binoculars to have a better look. Suddenly, whatever it was came free from the plane and started to float down to the ground. It turned out to be two things, not one, and both of those things were Daves. Tommy was delighted to see his old friends again, although it was a shame that Not-so-Clever Dave had landed on his flower bed. They went into the house and got something to eat, because both Daves were hungry after floating around space for 40 years. Tommy mentioned that he wished he were young again, because being old can be a bit of a problem. Then an amazing thing happened. Clever Dave produced a pack of Magical Wishing Powder and sprinkled it over Tommy. Suddenly, Tommy was 8 years old again! He was lying by a stream in Oak Tree Farm and it was a lovely sunny day. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lions were roaring, and the sheep were ..... Yes, thanks to Clever Dave, Tommy was able to live his life all over again. This time though, he dug a bit faster and escaped from the animals through a tunnel. In his second life he never met the Daves, but he always had happy memories of them ...